I honestly don’t know why I didn’t publish this when it was ready a whole year and a half ago. The 27th of March 2018- to be exact.
Funny enough, my current boss actually teases me about how I hate that I have to leave my child, who is 2 now (as you have all read, right?). He is right. I really do feel like I can spend my entire day with my daughter, and I know I will have hit my dream when I can work with her right next to me as long as she wants to be next to me- because, I also really love what I do. Even though at the moment I am sucking at it, to be honest.
My disclaimer before you start reading is that this was over a year ago, and though I miss my daughter when I am at work now, it is not this bad anymore. For any brand new moms out there reading this, it gets better mama!!!! A further disclaimer is that I have pretty much always loved the jobs I have, so the work was not an issue, but my daughter is amazing.
Anyway. Here it is:
I was lucky enough to have a maternity break of 4 months when I gave birth. This comes with its ups and downs. For one, I missed out on a salary that I had become accustomed to- but I will write about this in another post- trust me.
After my 4 months of being home with Mambo, characterised by: going crazy (literally, those first few months are cute but KILLER) and cooing, and learning to smile, and going back to normal, and eating anything I wanted, and basically not really vegging out (because I worked from home really. Yep. All through my maternity break I was running campaigns). I went back to work. I know. This was not a well constructed sentence, welcome to motherhood.
Everyday I ask myself why I have suffered the misfortune to have to go back to work. Why there are housewives in Lonehill who get to go to the gym and drink coffee with their babies and then head home for their afternoon nap. I get it. Many moms get to stay home and then crave adult interaction and what have you, but I would like that life- right now. Let me explain, if I had the option to only do stuff I absolutely loved and be paid for it- this list would include: sitting at home watching movies, taking walks with Mambo, watching more movies, going for a run, writing some social media stuff for some people, researching things I am absolutely interested in, playing with Mambo, watching her while she sleeps, talking to her, reading to her… Did I mention taking walks with Mambo?
Basically I would rather sit at home and do everything I love and do it with my child, rather than have to peel myself away from her everyday, leave her sleeping with her dad, and go to work to do all the things that I love. I want to do them at home with her. That’s it. The end. That is all.