My property is my property

7 Months!
Dear Mambo, Mam’ Winnie is no more

I need a minute to address the sentiment held by a few people who roam this earth, that we for some reason share a uterus and therefore have a say in what happens to it. Stop. My property is my property.

One of my greatest annoyances in life is being told that I need to have another baby- mostly so that there can be a sibling to baby M.

I grew up in a great household (that’s right, no tear jerking story, just a typical mom, dad, brother, sister life) with a most loving family with the usual arguments and tears and hugs and love and uplifting words and  tough love and grade discussions and trips to the beach. My parents did the best they could- and are still doing it.

I love my life with my sibling- we are very close and we have a lot in common, despite us being entirely different human beings. We hug and kiss a lot- I love to curl up beside my brother when he is reading or watching tv or sleeping even though he thinks he finds it annoying, I know he is lying to himself, he appreciates it :). He is only 2 and a half years younger than me, so we experienced the same life really- but that is besides the point.

Back to what I was saying. I still do not understand why anyone would feel the need to tell me that they think it best for me to have another baby. I do not ever recall in my life telling anyone what to do with their uterus- I found it fit do what I wanted with mine, and had my one baby. I also did not consult with anyone when I wanted to use my uterus to have this baby- except, her dad thankfully. Yes that’s right, she was planned, she just was an over achiever and came a bit earlier than we projected.

I appreciate that people can think it- think that it would be great for M to have a sibling. Perhaps. We also do not know if she would like to be an only child or not. My point is, unless anyone is forking out the school fees, staying up late at night to breast feed or cuddle because of fever, or dealing with tantrums or having to make faces even though deadlines are tight, mouths must remain shut- think it, do not say it out loud to me. Just think it, alone, on your own, to your parrot or your cat or your partner- DO NOT SAY IT. To me.

Please do not misconstrue this as a message of hate to mothers who have multiple babies- I am saying that MY uterus was for this one, I am not at all concerned what you do with your uterus- if you want three babies, four, ten, please believe, I will be happy for you- I have even told my circles that I am having one baby so that I can free up my time for when they start having their second babies.

Do not get me wrong, I may one day have another baby, I may decide that I want another one three years from now or so, or if we happen to have the proverbial ‘Oopsie’ then we will have two babies, and I will dutifully join the life of the mother to multiples. For now however, we have settled into our lives as a family- a family of a mommy, daddy and baby- and life is absolutely great.

At this moment, I cannot even think of trying to love another baby the way I love this one- and before you roll your eyes and comment that every mother goes through this, I would like to point out that there are in fact moms who do not go through this, so stop. Stop painting my lovely experience with the same brush as all other moms. This is my experience and my journey- and my uterus, ya dig? Thanks.

This is my life right now, my way, what is right for me. And T, and Mambo.




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